Suffocation : Rasmi Maurya

Updated: Apr 7

Everyday one thing can be noticed on his face which was very lively smile. No matter whatever was going on in his life nobody can find anything by looking at him. Emotionally he was almost impenetrable. Life was happening more than Perfectly from the outside but was he really okay??

"You are not what you are showing to others!, I know you. It's so good to see you smile like this, whole day. But why I always feel like you are hiding something?" She asked him while they were having lunch.

"Who? Me! can I hide anything from you, it's an impossible thing, why do you think I am doing so and what can I hide from you.... There's nothing like that" This is what he supposed to say according to her but all he said is "No I am not!" And left leaving half eaten meal on the table by saying that he was in hurry.

"Who? Me! can I hide anything from you, it's an impossible thing, why do you think I am doing so and what can I hide from you.... There's nothing like that" This is what he supposed to say according to her but all he said is "No I am not!" And left leaving half eaten meal on the table by saying that he was in hurry.

She knew him well, the way he talks, he lives but except her no one was concern about him. Everyone baught his fake smile and thought he was fine. But she was not the person to accept what was it looking like by ignoring what her heart was telling. So she decided to keep trying until he finally would open up and share everything. She was aware that asking during meals was not a good idea as he would again leave without eating properly. She didn't want to annoy his sleep either so talking in the night was also not an option and during day time they both have to go college. "So when should I ask him and how!!? If he wanted to talk that out he, himself had told her as usual but he is lying.I have to find something different." She was thinking about it then knock on door interrupted her. It was him " So we not GONNA eat today? It's 10 p.m. I called you an hour ago. You allright?" He asked. "Oh! Yeah I am completely fine. I am really sorry, I didn't hear you. Let's go for dinner."

"Well I am sorry I came to tell that I am not hungry. Ask mom and dad, and eat with them. They were asking about you"

saying that he left before even she can ask anything. Well she didn't feel right to chase him to his room and again make him annoyed with her questions so she went to their parents' room and all three of them had dinner together. Although she always had something to tell, to ask, but today she was really quiet.

"What's going on with you and your brother? Don't you both feel like talking to us! he came back and directly went to his room. Here you are also not saying a single word. Don't you think we also wait for you both and like to spend some time with our children."

Her father yelled. Although she was aware of his nature but she knew that they both used to talk to their parents time to time but since father mentioned he is not talking to even them she became more concerned about him. "Don't you know to reply?" Her father yelled again.

"Ah come on! Let her eat peacefully, she used to talk daily may be she is tired! may be he is quite busy.. why you are annoying them like this. Can't you eat your food quietly."

Her mom replied. Although she was also feeling bad about it but she didn't want to strech things out senselessly. She waited untill her father left. "Is there anything bothering you hon'?" She asked to her daughter while walking towards her room. Well as she didn't want to bother her mom too, so she lied, "no mom, you were right I am just little tired." "is brother okay?" She continued "Yeah sweetheart he is fine why are you asking? what happened? did he do something AGAIN!" Her mom became quite rude while asking.

"No we haven't met properly from a week so I was just asking by the way what he had done why you mentioned "again" ." She asked back curiously. "What actually he is doing!! Nothing at all, he couldn't get good marks even when we are fulfilling all his needs. He is growing up but he haven't started being responsible yet. We don't even know what he used to do whole day. Last week your father scolded him for his irresponsible behaviour but still we can't see any improvement. Now he even left meeting or talking to us! Now you tell which kind of behaviour is this?.... I am really annoyed with him." Her mom replied and left. She was again couldn't continue her part in the conversation. Although seeing her mom's behaviour, she almost understood,what was going on. But to understand completely, she wanted to talk to her brother. Now when she was aware of the reason his brother was bothered from, she couldn't hold herself till morning.She went to his room. She almost had entered in the room but she heard loud noise. She saw her brother was throwing his art collection.

"So you also came to add your part to tell how irresponsible I am or what I should not do?"

He asked furiously when he saw her coming in the room as he had already heard what their mother was telling to her. She was aware that although she came here to help him but it was the worst time and he was on the verge of opening up so she said nothing except asking "Can I have them? I always wanted to, but I thought these are so dear to you as you drew them so dedicatedly that's why I never asked but since you are already throwing them I think you won't get bothered if I take them"

And the moment she done saying this, his frustration has gone. He became calm and asked her to sit with him for a while. This is what she was waiting for so she noded and pulled the chair for him as well. She already played her part in best way so she didn't need to start the conversation he, by himself, started telling what he was going through, how everything was suffocating him, and why he couldn't manage to talk anybody. In whole conversation he mentioned everything he was bothered from and when he stopped talking she asked in very calm tone," If you have me to share everything, why you lied to me? You know very well that I know you enough to catch when you are lying and when not!" Listening this he bursted into tears and he cried straight for twenty minutes which was pretty long duration but she stayed patience and let him to make all his suffocation out in tears. She patted his shoulder gently and said," I am still waiting for the answer."

"I thought you were also agreeing with mom-dad and I was so done with listening everything and not getting chance to express myself. So I didn't feel right to talk." He somehow managed to say while sobbing. She smiled and said "Yeah I understand and take as much as time you need but always remember one thing I do have my own eyes and voice, I always use them equally as I use my ears.So next time don't just consider how I will behave, what I will think."

"Honestly I am very glad that we have each others' back and I use us as my fuel to live fully. Can I expect the same?" She asked.

He wiped his tears ,"You bet!" He replied while hugging her and that night one more promise "To be there for each other" had been added in the to-do list of that amazing pair of brother and sister.

Author / Written By

Rashmi Maurya

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Published By

Indian Ink Writers Community

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